.. Or that is prepared to probably get confused out of their minds.

meh cba to find a lyric to put as the title)


To the people that know me in real life you'll be like, OKAY WTF this makes no sence she's always smiling and being crazy.

Well pleh to happiness... pleh to bubbly. I give up on trying to make everyone think I'm okay when I feel like Shite.

Don't ask if I'm okay because you'll only get the answer "dunno" because i dont know ok! I hate it when people worry about mee i know they will anyway but >.< i feel like a burden

Here we go then. What's actually wrong with me? I have no idea tbh.

I wake up and look at the ceiling and think of what dream i had just a few seconds ago. The ones I remember are really odd and creep me out because I don't understand it.

At school I look around me at all these people that I call my friends. They all look the same but it's like everything is like blurred.... not my vision but like.... you know what I mean... It's like the rest of them is like a big smudge of evilness. I mean... It's like confusing me trying to put it down... uhh... they just all make me feel so.... odd....

Sometimes I feel like everything has stopped like im looking at a freeze frame of that second of my life.... I look around at everyone seeing them laugh and have fun and I reach out to someone only to be looked down at and left to fall....

What's happening to me... why the hell does everything go belly up.... is there something I've done wrong?

I get like really frustrated and confused and upset which makes me even more confused cuz i dunno why im going all emotional. It's nothing to do with hormones though i use to blame it on that.... it's constant... like somethings grabbing onto me holding me down not letting me rise up into a world i can hear,see,smell but not touch or be in.

>.< Meh long journals suck....

I dunno... I neeeeed something or someone to just.... do or give me summit thats just gonna stop my head spinning and making me feel so god damned.... AWKWARD!